I miss you
in the most innocent form. I miss having someone as my confidante, my
companion. I miss having someone to go on drives towards the lake with. I miss
having someone sit and play cards with me in Starbucks all night long. I miss
having someone to cook for and dress up for. I miss having someone to do life
with.
So maybe I
don't miss you, per se. What I miss is having someone.
Because let's be real, I'm so much better off without you.
I don't
think you realized how unhappy I was in the end. I tried with all my might to
make things work and to put a smile on my face, but with every ounce and fiber
of my being, I could not do it any longer.
And even
though I am in some of my darkest days currently, they are still sunnier without
your cloud hanging over me.
In a lot
of ways, I am here because of you. I do not blame my depression on you, but I
do accredit you with being a pivotal point in my life and teaching me so much
about myself.
I value
myself more and know my worth. I know more of what I want in someone I want to
spend copious amounts of time with. I know now, that I can't always put my
significant other's happiness first, because mine should matter too. You can
only pour so much of yourself into someone else without receiving the same
amount of effort in return. But most importantly, I am stronger and more
confident. Boys don't faze me now, because in that aspect, I am happy with
myself, and I couldn't have gotten to this point without you.
I want to
thank you, because the end of us was the beginning of me.
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